Stuff by Steve

Legend of Zorro
Following “Mask of Zorro”, but the explosions get bigger, as does Catherine Zeta-Jones’ chest. And there’s now a kid. So, we lose the charm of the wise mentor character from the first movie and instead gain the death-knell of all death-knells - a cute sidekick. The only time that ever almost worked was in “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,” and not even then. Oh, and Zeta-Jones wields a sword in this one, so now we have two Zorros, AND they’re married. Sigh.

Flightplan
This one reminds me a lot of “The Forgotten,” but without the weird, alien element. Maybe the ending will be better. I love a good conspiracy thriller, although I find the motivation a bit confusing; who would want to kidnap the daughter of an aeronautical engineer on-board the maiden flight of her latest jumbo jet creation, and why?

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D
So, what’s the tip off that this will be a bad movie; the presence of George Lopez, or the title? Any movie that includes “in 3-D” in the title should be axed and the napkin the script was written on should be burned. Although, I might change my mind after the Star Wars sextet is re-re-released.

Serenity
I’m trying to watch the original TV series (”Firefly”) to see what all the hubub is about. It’s basically a Star Wars-esque western - old tech mixes with new, along with melodrama, corny-yet-funny dialogue, and intelligent action.

The Island
The trailer reminded me of “Logan’s Run”, but without the bad music and ’70s-era glittering special effects. I did also see a hint of “The Island of Dr. Moreau,” “Gataca,” “1984,” “Blade Runner,” “12 Monkeys,” “A Clockwork Orange,” and even “THX 1138″.

Mad Hot Ballroom
Danielle will probably be the only one who doesn’t think I’m crazy for speculating on this one. It’s billed as a documentary that covers junior dance competition. I don’t know - there’s something about the raw nature of the kids and their attitude toward the dancing itself. It looks refreshing.

March Of The Penguins
Morgan Freeman’s voice in the trailer states, “For 20 days and 20 nights, the Emperor Penguin will march to a place so extreme it supports no other life.” And yet, we were able to send a film crew there to record the event. Good thing, too, because those baby penguins are the most adorable thing ever. It’s a documentary, so the box office draw won’t be big, but it should get at least $9 from me.

The Da Vinci Code
Maybe now that it is a movie people will understand that it’s a work of fiction. Probably not. I’m tempted not to see it just to protest the social movement that has turned most of the English-speaking population into literary lemmings, but the involvement of Ron Howard, Tom Hanks, Paul Bettany, Ian McKellen, Alfred Molina, and Jean Reno may change my mind. Probably not.

Wallace And Gromit - The Curse of The Were Rabbit
Finally, a feature film of the hilarious pair. The makers of “Chicken Run” get to give feature-length treatment to their original and, most will agree, better material.

The Chronicles of Narnia
I didn’t read Lord of the Rings before the movies came out, but now I know how all those fans felt about having a childhood classic adapted to the screen. I’m not sure I will agree with the director’s interpretation of the story, but more important, I’m not sure I will agree with his interpretation of the theme. Even C.S. Lewis called it an allegory of Christianity, and I fear that that will be lost if it is treated simply as a fantasy tale.