Stuff by Steve

These days it seems that movies are being made with the express purpose of breaking genre barriers. Probably because of a lack of original script material, movies are resorting to the tactic of appealing to the audience on multiple levels in order to continue their draw. Most that attempt this fail miserably. This one came very close to succeeding. Mr. and Mrs. Smith was a dark comedy about a couple who rekindled their relationship through extraordinary circumstances. No, wait, it was a light-hearted action film. Actually, I’m pretty sure it was a romantic comedy set against a background of gunfire and explosions. Regardless of its identity, the movie was about a married couple who discovered after 5 or 6 tough years of marriage that they were both secret agents working for opposing sides. It was an interesting concept, and it worked most of the time. There were some genuinely funny moments and a handful of jaw-dropping visuals; set-piece scenes that I won’t forget for a while. Yet, there was something missing, and I think it was the glue that should have held it all together. The comedy seemed to constantly step aside for the drama, which felt too shallow because it was always interrupted by explosions or fist fights. These action sequences were the film’s biggest strength and weakness; they were good enough to be their own movie, at least at first. They became more over-the-top as time went on, until they were just too ridiculous for what the movie was trying to do. In the end, I felt like I had watched one third of three separate movies, all cut together and shown at the same time. Three pretty good movies, though, and as such the experience was still fairly enjoyable.

Someone out there seems to think that we haven’t remade enough Burt Reynolds movies. I haven’t seen the original, but the 2005 version left a lot to be desired. At first glance this was a standard sports movie - in this case, the washed-up, disillusioned former football star makes a mess of his life and winds up in prison. There he experiences the oppression of a corrupt system and ends up putting together a team of inmates to fight back “on the field.” Of course, his past comes back to haunt him, and the inmates’ self-esteem and his own integrity end up on the line. How does it all turn out? Allegedly, in the original film, that was something that you actually cared about. In this case, not so much. The characters weren’t really deep enough to become attached to, and the plot was too basic to even be interesting. The jokes were funny, but fairly coarse, and the sinister themes and dramatic scenes seemed out of place in the face of the low-brow humour. I will say, though, that the plethora of pro wrestlers that were cast as players were impressively huge, literally filling the screen, with the addition of a few little-known actors that could only be described as gargantuan. Reynolds had more than just a cameo, and he was really the highlight of the movie, acting-wise, but ultimately offered too little to the bigger picture (ha ha). In the end, the movie tried to take itself seriously but failed. I think Adam Sandler did better as a hockey player.

Dreamworks, the company behind Shrek, brings us a new animated feature film in the form of “Madagascar.” The thing about animated features is that they are pretty hard to screw up; not impossible, though, as we saw in 20th Century Fox’s “Robots.” This time, however, the animators have penguins on their side. The movie involves a gaggle of animals living in the New York City Zoo in Central Park. One of the animals gets a little curious about “the wild” and embarks on an escapade to discover if the grass really is greener on the other side. He ends up getting his three zoo friends involved, and what follows is a blah blah blah. Seriously, who cares? This movie was really good, but not because of its plot or even it’s main characters. The ambiance and supporting cast steal the show here, and with style. I found myself laughing out loud at the antics of the penguins, lemurs, and monkeys that I almost forgot that the movie was about a lion, zebra, giraffe, and hippo. While the plot was not bad in its own right, the charm of the show came from the curious quirks that the animators gave all of the animals in general, and I found more enjoyment watching them goof off than anything else. Add to that some beautifully styled visuals and inspired voice acting and you’ve got a winner.

The idea of this movie really piqued my curiosity. Set in the vein of ’40s-era sci-fi, we would follow a derring-do hero through the sepia-toned world of propeller planes and dirigibles against giant robot adversaries while doing battle using a combination of old-fashioned pistols, ray guns, and plain old cunning. The movie was also one of the first to be shot entirely using chroma-keying (blue- or green-screen) on a soundstage. How could this not be cool? I think that’s what the director thought, too, and when the time came to write the script, he said “Heck, it will write itself!” Which is pretty much what it did. And then, it couldn’t decide if it wanted to be “Star Wars,” “Indiana Jones,” or “The Island of Dr. Moreau.” The only reason why I watched the whole thing and didn’t instead throw in “Without a Paddle” was morbid curiosity. The story was just intriguing enough that I wanted to know how it ended, but it was terrible enough that I was glad when it did. I felt no attachment to any of the characters, a situation that wasn’t helped in the least by the awful acting, disconnected dialogue, and confusing plot elements. I appreciated the aged post-war stylization, but style over substance is a bad formula for success.

Legend of Zorro
Following “Mask of Zorro”, but the explosions get bigger, as does Catherine Zeta-Jones’ chest. And there’s now a kid. So, we lose the charm of the wise mentor character from the first movie and instead gain the death-knell of all death-knells - a cute sidekick. The only time that ever almost worked was in “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,” and not even then. Oh, and Zeta-Jones wields a sword in this one, so now we have two Zorros, AND they’re married. Sigh.

Flightplan
This one reminds me a lot of “The Forgotten,” but without the weird, alien element. Maybe the ending will be better. I love a good conspiracy thriller, although I find the motivation a bit confusing; who would want to kidnap the daughter of an aeronautical engineer on-board the maiden flight of her latest jumbo jet creation, and why?

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D
So, what’s the tip off that this will be a bad movie; the presence of George Lopez, or the title? Any movie that includes “in 3-D” in the title should be axed and the napkin the script was written on should be burned. Although, I might change my mind after the Star Wars sextet is re-re-released.

Serenity
I’m trying to watch the original TV series (”Firefly”) to see what all the hubub is about. It’s basically a Star Wars-esque western - old tech mixes with new, along with melodrama, corny-yet-funny dialogue, and intelligent action.

The Island
The trailer reminded me of “Logan’s Run”, but without the bad music and ’70s-era glittering special effects. I did also see a hint of “The Island of Dr. Moreau,” “Gataca,” “1984,” “Blade Runner,” “12 Monkeys,” “A Clockwork Orange,” and even “THX 1138″.

Mad Hot Ballroom
Danielle will probably be the only one who doesn’t think I’m crazy for speculating on this one. It’s billed as a documentary that covers junior dance competition. I don’t know - there’s something about the raw nature of the kids and their attitude toward the dancing itself. It looks refreshing.

March Of The Penguins
Morgan Freeman’s voice in the trailer states, “For 20 days and 20 nights, the Emperor Penguin will march to a place so extreme it supports no other life.” And yet, we were able to send a film crew there to record the event. Good thing, too, because those baby penguins are the most adorable thing ever. It’s a documentary, so the box office draw won’t be big, but it should get at least $9 from me.

The Da Vinci Code
Maybe now that it is a movie people will understand that it’s a work of fiction. Probably not. I’m tempted not to see it just to protest the social movement that has turned most of the English-speaking population into literary lemmings, but the involvement of Ron Howard, Tom Hanks, Paul Bettany, Ian McKellen, Alfred Molina, and Jean Reno may change my mind. Probably not.

Wallace And Gromit - The Curse of The Were Rabbit
Finally, a feature film of the hilarious pair. The makers of “Chicken Run” get to give feature-length treatment to their original and, most will agree, better material.

The Chronicles of Narnia
I didn’t read Lord of the Rings before the movies came out, but now I know how all those fans felt about having a childhood classic adapted to the screen. I’m not sure I will agree with the director’s interpretation of the story, but more important, I’m not sure I will agree with his interpretation of the theme. Even C.S. Lewis called it an allegory of Christianity, and I fear that that will be lost if it is treated simply as a fantasy tale.